Across the country and around the world people gather together and open and/or close their meetings with these words:
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
--From Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer”
As we endure the greatest challenge most of us have faced in our lifetime, the COVID-19 pandemic, I find that I’m leaning on some of the principles from 12-step programs to help me cope with this massive disruption.
First, for the most part, I admit that I am powerless over this virus. Sure, I can do my part to follow the directives to stay at home except for going to the grocery store and to take my dog for a walk while keeping at least six feet away from fellow perambulators. But, I can’t control whether society at large will follow the prescribed methods to combat the spread of the virus, nor can I wish my way to a brighter tomorrow where I can be in the same physical location as my friends and extended family. I am definitely powerless over the physical effects and mortality of COVID-19, yet I acknowledge that I have personal responsibility for doing my part to curb the spread of the virus.
Second, connecting to my higher power daily through prayer and meditation helps me to get centered and reorients my focus from self to others. As I pray, I focus on those I know who need healing in body, mind or spirit. I then widen the aperture to pray for my broader community and the world. I also find that attending virtual church services through Facebook Live helps me discern in community where God is at work in my life in this moment; where I can shine a flicker of light in the darkness caused by the uncertainty, fear and confusion that beset COVID-19. In meditation, I (try to) let go of the thoughts that preoccupy and distract me from just being; I try to accept what is without labels or judgment.
Finally, although not a step, the slogan, “One day at a time,” is probably the tool I find myself reaching for the most during this pandemic. I can easily feel overwhelmed by despair if I look at the graphs that show the exponential increases in the rates of infection and deaths over time. I could also drive myself crazy constantly wondering when it will be safe enough for the lockdown to end. When I focus on where I am right now, in the moment and what I have before me today, however, I notice that I breathe from a deeper place in my stomach instead of the quick, shallow breaths from my thorax. With this shift in perspective, the arch of worry lines in my forehead flatten and my shoulders fall from their perch near my earlobes.
Today, I am immensely grateful for my home where I am warm, well fed and sustained by my loving family. I am grateful for my reliable connection to the Internet, which helps me connect with family, friends, my various communities and people I don’t know dispersed around the globe who are all doing their best to remain healthy and sane during this peculiar moment in our collective history.
And, perhaps most of all, I am grateful for my faith and the tools I have picked up that have equipped me for this journey through the darkness of this pandemic. One day at a time, I get to help illumine a little bit of a path toward the light for my clients, as well as myself. For that privilege, I am profoundly grateful.